Reaching out

FOGO ISLAND -

For anyone dealing with a personal crisis, there is an outlet for advice and help through a newly established grief support group at the Fogo Island Health Center.

"Everyone deals with grief in their own way," said co-facilitator Elizabeth Keefe. "There is neither a right or wrong way, only what fits for the individual.

"We provide a quiet, peaceful, relaxed and informal support place for anyone who feels they may need to just let their guard down and their feelings out in a place where there is no one to judge or pass comment, or just a place to get away from their usual surroundings - even if only for an hour or so."

The support group began after a need was identified through the Central Health Community Advisory committee for Fogo Island and Change Islands.

"Grief support was seen as a need that wasn't being met here in this area," said Ms. Keefe. "This type of support is often available in larger centers, so it was decided to make it available to island residents."

The support group is equipped to provide support to an individual in any grieving situation and confidentially is assured.

"Anyone who is dealing with a crisis or a loss of any kind are welcome to attend," said Ms. Keefe. "It need not only be an actual death as such, because a loss of a job, a break-up of a relationship, the loss of a pet, a friend moving away - anything that leaves you feeling lost and confused will cause you grief and persons in that situation will benefit from this session.

"There are many faces and causes of grief and just as many ways to handle it, live with it and give support through it. When you have lost a loved one to an illness for example, it is a terrible shock to deal with."

The support group meets the third Tuesday of each month in the Activity Room of the Fogo Island Health Centre.

"We are not professional counsellors, only caring people who recognize that some folks need a place of peace and relaxation, where they can share their grief if they want to and it they don't, then that's okay too," said Ms. Keefe. "You don't have to be experiencing grief yourself, but if you know someone who is then feel free to accompany them. There is no one there who will judge anyone for anything and confidentially is very important to the group."

Faces and phases

The support group will be hosting The Faces and Phases of Grief session on May 18 at 7:30 p.m., presented by Dr. Rick Singleton via teleconference at the Fogo Island Health Centre. The session is open to the public and is free of charge.

The session will feature information on dealing with loss and will examine typical grieving patterns and things individuals can do to handle themselves and others during difficult times.

"We are very privileged to be able to access Dr. Singleton's professionalism and we are always looking for resources to help anyone who needs it," said Ms. Keefe. "Grief can become overwhelming and it is easy to feel along at that emotional time and as the old saying says, "a trouble shared is a trouble halved" and it is surprising how much better people feel when they have given themselves a chance to talk."

Dr. Singleton is the director of Pastoral Care and Ethics with Eastern Health. He is also the professor of Pastoral Studies at Queen's College Faculty of Theology in St. John's.

"The session is intended for people who have had a recent loss and those attempting to help them," said Dr. Singleton. "The session will look at the typical ways that grief presents and some of the complications that can come about if the grieving person does not give adequate attention to their grief.

"While the major focus is loss through death, we will loss at the similar experiences for people who suffer from marriage separation and divorce, job loss, etcetera."

Dr. Singleton said he knows from years of experience just how beneficial a talk with a group can be for a person's well being.

"Nothing is as helpful as people talking about their losses," said Dr. Singleton. "One observation of mine is that with shifts in lifestyle and culture, people are often very alone after the first few weeks - this makes grief recovery more difficult."

Ms. Keefe said the group will continue their efforts, as it has become apparent that it is a worthwhile venture.

"We understand that people are used to keeping their feelings within the comfort zone of their own families and close friends, but coming to our monthly group can give them access to resources that can help them in their grieving process and people often find that they can help others who are going through it too, just by listening and talking if they want to about their own situation," said Ms. Keefe. "We have four regulars and hope that once the word gets out, more will see that they can be helped."

For more information on the support group or the upcoming session contact Ms. Keefe at 658-3524.